I founded the All-Weather Friend, which is about helping friends get through difficult situations. My first book, Alzheimer’s: A Crash Course for Friends and Relatives, tells how to help people living with dementia. I’ve had hard times in my life—my husband’s brain tumor and suicide, my father’s dementia, infertility, miscarriage, my brother’s sudden death, and other things that flooded me with grief. But my life is filled with joy; I’ve learned that joy comes from God and from a compassionate connection with friends and people we love. I write and speak about “informed compassion.” I hope you’ll visit my website, where there’s a great dementia resource page with contributions by many readers.
I wrote...
Dementia and the Church: Memory, Care, and Inclusion
If every church opened its doors to people living with dementia, the world would become an easier place for millions of people who have much to offer in return. It’s not hard; it doesn’t have to cost much (or any) money. It’s a joyful ministry, by all accounts. My book tells churches exactly how to do it.
I’m awful at self-promotion, so I’ll let Professor Suzanne McDonald of Western Theological Seminary speak for me here: This book is “filled with powerful stories, important information, abundant resources, pastoral wisdom, and practical steps all of us can take. It offers both an unflinchingly realistic account of what it is like to live with dementia and a hopeful way forward for pastors, individual church members, and congregations.”
The author, a retired bishop and professor emeritus
at Duke Divinity School, has not only written this book to tell about his
journey as a caregiver to his wife, who died of frontotemporal lobe dementia, but also provides (free of charge) a set of truly excellent companion videos
churches can use to educate their congregations about dementia.
Carder writes
about the transformation in his understanding of love as he learned new ways of
relating to his wife, realizing that she, in her infirmity, had become his
teacher about love.
Dementia diseases represent a crisis of faith for many family members and congregations. Magnifying this crisis is the way people with dementia tend to be objectified by both medical and religious communities. They are recipients of treatment and projects for mission. Ministry is done to and for them rather than with them.
While acknowledging the devastation of dementia diseases, Ken Carder draws on his own experience as a caregiver, hospice chaplain, and pastoral practitioner to portray the gifts as well as the challenges accompanying dementia diseases. He confronts the deep personal and theological questions created by loving people with dementia…
While there are many great memoirs about
Alzheimer’s, this one is unique. It’s almost an adult picture book that quickly
gives a realistic sense of what living with mid-stage Alzheimer’s is like.
Henderson, a former history professor, carried a tape recorder around with him,
documenting his daily thoughts and struggles. Photographer Nancy Andrews made
stunning black-and-white photos to accompany Henderson’s observations.
It takes
little time to read Henderson’s book, but the understanding it conveys is remarkable. It may be hard to find since it is over 20 years old, but it’s
worth the effort.
Reading this book is like sitting in on a support
group. It’s a collection of quotes about living with dementia from people who
are doing just that.
I love it for churches starting a memory ministry because
these quotes could be quickly read aloud in worship services, as a “ministry
moment,” or read round-robin style in groups beginning to learn about dementia.
I like the collection of many voices speaking out candidly and poignantly about
this difficult journey.
Betsy Peterson spent fourteen years caring for her husband who was suffering from dementia, an experience that put her in touch with others inside the struggle to have or to care for someone with the disease. A combination of contributions from patients, their families, friends, and caregivers, Voices of Alzheimer's gathers the poignant stories, funny quotes, and priceless encouragement that Peterson heard and that helped her along the way. Capturing the many dimensions of the Alzheimer experience-the challenges, the struggles, the humour, and even the rewards-a Voices presents a varied, and realistic, look at what it's like to be affected…
Moments of joy are often all that can be had by
people in the later stages of dementia when life is lived moment by forgotten
moment. What people may not realize, though, is that while the memories of
joyful moments (an ice cream cone, petting a dog, looking at pictures, taking a
walk) may be quickly forgotten, the emotion of joy will linger.
Brackey tells
us how to create moments of joy for our loved ones with dementia and that
people with dementia have much to teach us about ourselves.
The beloved best seller has been revised and expanded for the fifth edition.
Jolene Brackey has a vision: that we will soon look beyond the challenges of Alzheimer's disease to focus more of our energies on creating moments of joy. When people have short-term memory loss, their lives are made up of moments. We are not able to create perfectly wonderful days for people with dementia or Alzheimer's, but we can create perfectly wonderful moments, moments that put a smile on their faces and a twinkle in their eyes. Five minutes later, they will not remember what we did or…
Although this book may not seem to fit the list,
it’s one of the best books on loss I have ever read, and I’ve read quite a few. Dementia is about loss, after loss, after loss. Yes, there are moments and
times of joy. And yes, it challenges and expands our love, faith, compassion,
and sense of self. But dementia is, indisputably, about loss.
I read this book
shortly after my husband’s suicide, and it comforted me at a time when comfort
was hard to come by. My Southern Baptist mother also read it and, when she
finished, held it up and said in her practical, down-to-earth way, “This is a
book I will read over and over again like I read the Bible.”
Rabbi Wolpe’s
book is beautifully written and wonderfully wise, and I recommend it to
everyone.
Some losses are so subtle they go unnoticed, some so overwhelming and cruel they seem unbearable. Coping with grief and experiencing loss overwhelms us in ways that seem both hopeless and endless. In painful moments like these, we must make a choice: Will we allow the difficulties we face to become forces of destruction in our lives, or will we find a way to begin learning from loss, transforming our suffering into a source of strength?
A theologian with the heart of a poet, Rabbi David Wolpe explores the meaning of loss, and the way we can use its inevitable…
What happens when a novelist with a “razor-sharp wit” (Newsday), a “singular sensibility” (Huff Post), and a lifetime of fear about getting sick finds a lump where no lump should be? Months of medical mishaps, coded language, and Doctors who don't get it.
With wisdom, self-effacing wit, and the story-telling artistry of an acclaimed novelist, Elizabeth Benedict recollects her cancer diagnosis after discovering multiplying lumps in her armpit. In compact, explosive chapters, interspersed with moments of self-mocking levity, she chronicles her illness from muddled diagnosis to “natural remedies,” to debilitating treatments, as she gathers sustenance from family, an assortment of urbane friends, and a fearless “cancer guru.”
Rewriting Illness is suffused with suspense, secrets, and the unexpected solace of silence.
By turns somber and funny but above all provocative, Elizabeth Benedict's Rewriting Illness: A View of My Own is a most unconventional memoir. With wisdom, self-effacing wit, and the story-telling skills of a seasoned novelist, she brings to life her cancer diagnosis and committed hypochondria. As she discovers multiplying lumps in her armpit, she describes her initial terror, interspersed with moments of self-mocking levity as she indulges in "natural remedies," among them chanting Tibetan mantras, drinking shots of wheat grass, and finding medicinal properties in chocolate babka. She tracks the progression of her illness from muddled diagnosis to debilitating treatment…
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