The most recommended books about adultery

This is another book I wish I’d been able to read when my marriage ended. In this memoir, Gina Frangello writes about the explosion of her own marriage, the cause of which was her secret affair. This might seem like a surprising choice, but in so many ways it gets to the heart of why modern marriages come apart. So many women, myself included, entered into marriage committed to the idea of following codes and rules that were not our own. This author bravely excavates the reasons for her affair without punishing herself, but taking responsibility. In this way it is a sister memoir to Rachel Cusk’s Aftermath. This is not a book about widowhood at all, but I recommend it because it can offer fresh perspective on marriage and relationships…for next time.

Pauline Viardot (1821-1910) was one of the most celebrated prima donnas of the nineteenth century, but she was much more than a typical diva. She was also one of the most versatile artists of the era, a talented composer, arranger, teacher, autograph collector, entrepreneur, salonnière, and promoter of early music. While fictionalized, this novel sticks closely to historical events of her life, focusing on her marriage to Louis Viardot, her long-lasting affair with Russian author Ivan Turgenev, and the unconventional and loving bonds that formed between these three extraordinary artists. If you’re looking for historical fiction about one of the most fascinating divas of the nineteenth century, An Unofficial Marriage is a great choice.

I love novels that delve into family relationships, and Modglin did that in spades. The first few chapters led me, unsuspecting, into the lives of the most unusual husband and wife I’ve ever met on the page. If I hadn’t read the description, I might have thought I was reading a relationship book by Elizabeth Berg or Anne Tyler. 

Was I in for a shock! The more I read, the more twisted the relationship became. This book literally took my breath away. I couldn’t turn pages fast enough! This novel is fascinating, fast-paced, and shockingly different–all the things that made me hurry to snatch up the two sequels, which are equally as good as the first. I highly recommend this book.

Speaking of ancient wisdom: Here you have a manual of right and wrong. You’re not going to agree with all of it, or even most of it. But what I got out of reading this, before I became Catholic, was that some very smart people over the course of hundreds of years had thought through the basic norms of correct action and written them down. The catechism embeds rules for living within a larger framework of reality, built on faith in Jesus of Nazareth as the Son of God. Again, most of you aren’t going to believe that, as I didn’t when I first read the Catechism. But the critical thing is the coherence and accountability in this document. Nothing is out of place. Every rule for right action has some connection to the overarching scheme. There are no inconsistencies (this is the church’s theory, not its actions).

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Beware the replacement wife! Those folks we envy because they appear to have it all (flawless family/home/career, etc…) are often frantically treading water, desperate to keep that facade of perfection afloat. I know because I’ve been there, in a seemingly idyllic marriage where underneath the trappings of material success was, well, crap.

In this novel, the second wife thinks she’s got it goin’ on with the first wife’s ex, but things are not as they seem (are they ever in domestic thrillers, or real life??) I got a vicarious kick out of the two wives’ scheming and revenge-lust, and the dry humor laced throughout the story had me snickering with snarky delight!

This is one of a series of Spenser novels. It is set in modern-day Boston, and this novel follows the protagonist, Spenser, as he tries to find out who shot his associate Hawk. Parker takes the reader into a murky netherworld where all is grey, even justice.

The novel's pacing is slick, the characterization believable, and the dialog takes one back to Raymond Chandler. I read it in two sittings. 

I love the East Berlin setting of this book, just before and after the Wall comes done. It’s perfect for an intense, melancholy love story between a young woman in her late teens and a married writer who is older than the young woman’s parents.

As I read the book, I couldn’t help comparing their rocky relationship to the state of East and West Germany and how things were so contentious back then, even after reunification. I was also a college student in the late 1980s and related to the idealism of the young woman during the end of the Cold War. I didn’t travel to Berlin back then, but did go to the Soviet Union, Budapest, and Prague. That era is gone, but lives on in this book. 

I admire this novel for its seamless blend of classic noir themes and, in an unusual aspect of such a novel, racial issues.

I find the narrator to be a near-perfect blend of intelligence, determination, and the fatal flaws of lust and greed.  The femme fatale shares those qualities but adds more than a touch of ruthlessness. The novel features a number of compelling, even frightening scenes—for example, a late night burial, or re-burial, in a pet cemetery.

The plot is beautifully crafted, with a number of twists and turns that on my first read I did not see coming. And the ending is pitch perfect, a satisfying mix of death, sadness, and justice but with a glimmer of hope that contrasts effectively with the noir themes and at least partially resolves the racial issues.    

Little Secrets is both brilliantly written and terrifying, making it one of my all-time favorite psychological thrillers. Eighteen months after Marin’s young son, Sebastian, was kidnapped as she shopped with him at a crowded Seattle market, both Marin and her marriage are hanging on by a thread. Desperate for answers, she hires a PI to help locate additional clues as to what happened to her son. As the secrets begin unraveling, the twists reveal themselves. Jennifer Hillier’s clean writing style and relatable characters drew me in, but the high tension and off-the-charts creep-factor kept me tearing through the pages all the way until the shocking ending.

Wendy Plump’s VOW is the only memoir I have ever read that reveals what it is like to be the “cheating” partner (there are many books that address being cheated on). This is NOT a book touting infidelity or polyamory. It is simply an extremely honest accounting of a marriage riddled by affairs (both partners), how the author coped with the fallout, and grew into a more mature and insight-driven version of herself. This very topic activates so much judgment by so many people (just read some of the seething, scathing reviews on Amazon), but the truth is, human beings DO cheat, they DO commit infidelity, and Wendy Plump, who is a terrific, elegant writer and storyteller, has addressed this topic with great candor. It takes an extremely brave person to tell this type of story; hence, this book is brave and beautiful.