100 books like Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

Many of us tend to focus on the child— the child has tantrums, therefore the child has the problem. It‘s important for me to include this book on the list because adults play an unparalleled role in modeling emotional regulation for kids. We need to remind ourselves that how we respond can make the difference between resolving the situation OR making it worse. This book is an eye-opener and can help grown-ups relate to kids in better ways. It’s about connection before correction, because a dysregulated child (or adult, for that matter), cannot think straight and will not be able to act rationally. The teaching moments can come after we have calmed the storm, always coming from a place of love and understanding.

Erika Christakis offers a scientifically-grounded view of early childhood in a very approachable format for parents, teachers, childcare workers, and anyone who cares about young children. Christakis suggests we can make a few easy changes to nurture early learning and development and empower children through our relationships with the child.

The importance of playing and social interaction are critical aspects of child development and social emotional learning, but often children are expected to conform to adult-centered goals such as unrealistic expectations, adult schedules, and activities based on adult preferences for the child that might not align with their strengths and interests.

I think back and remember how creative and curious I was as a child, and as a parent I am reminded of the power of a child's mind to imagine and create. Children often also have wisdom beyond their years. As adults we need to not only see our… show more.

My coauthor Gloria Russo-Wassell introduced me to the wonderful world of Dr. Kazdin. I was skeptical at first about his all positive rewards, no negative punishment techniques, but the more I read, the more I realize he is right on the mark. When you associate positive rewards, praise, and feelings with specific children’s behaviors they will remember those events much more than the memories of being punished. We need to move past punishment as a cornerstone of parenting and discipline, and consider Dr. Kazdin’s ABC method.

Mindfulness has become a more popular concept in the realm of relaxation training, wellness, spirituality, and health, but many books are focused on adults. Children can also practice mindfulness which is having a reflective stance in daily life including appreciating experiences in the moment, being mindful of how you speak to people and of your relationships, incorporating a meditative element to daily life, and reflecting deeply on experiences and learning from those experiences. The author was involved in developing a mindfulness curriculum for school children which has been deemed quite effective in increasing focus and calm and decreasing discord and behavioral problems among children in the toughest classrooms. Check out this book, then try a book on mindful parenting!

I had been wanting to read this book for a long while but knew that it deserved setting aside a good chunk of time to really appreciate it! I finally picked it up during the first COVID lockdown and was fully engaged from the very first page.

This is the very best book that I have ever read on childhood trauma. For me, this book was like doing a specialist course in neuroscience. I learned so much about how adversity and extreme stress affect a child’s brain. However,  despite dealing with harrowing material, the authors never lose their focus on hope for a positive outcome. They consider how even children who have lived through unspeakable suffering can experience healing and wholeness.

The importance of compassionate and nurturing relationships is paramount within this exceptional book, based on real-life case files.

This is one of the best books on raising resilient, emotionally healthy children. Generation Alpha is being bombarded by traumatic events which they learn about on YouTube, television, and from grownups around them talking about these events and the news. But there is a way to raise emotionally, healthy children even today and the key is teaching them resilience. There are so many great insights in this book but it’s practical and easy to digest. Our children have lost some of their resilience during the pandemic. It’s up to us, as adults in their lives – parents, teachers, counselors, and coaches – to re-instill a sense of security in our child’s lives but also the idea that once you’ve been through tough times other setbacks in life can seem easier to get through.

Dr. Stuart Shanker is the rock star of Self-Regulation; what he doesn’t know about children is not worth knowing. This book lifts the lid on the many hidden and surprising sources of stress for children, and the impact stress has on their mind, behaviour, and nervous system. Packed with stories of the children he has treated and families he has helped and peppered with facts about the brain and nervous system, this book helps parents discover what could be causing their children’s behavioural, emotional, and learning problems. Best of all, it offers concrete steps parents can take to help children develop their self-regulation skills and successfully engage with life.

One of Dr. Greene’s basic beliefs, reiterated often in this wise and compassionate book, is that “Kids do well if they can.” Instead of seeing their child as manipulative, attention-seeking, stubborn, controlling, or defiant, readers learn to understand that really, the child lacks some necessary skills: flexibility, adaptability, frustration tolerance, emotion regulation, and problem-solving. Using a combination of exposition, explanation, and stories from his decades of practice with troubled kids in many circumstances, Greene shows parents how to put the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions model into action. He reassures readers that—even if they’ve been doing it all wrong until now—there’s always room for growth and change, starting now. “Kids are resilient,” he writes. “They come around if we start doing the right thing.”

You can trust Pinky McKay. A Lactation Consultant with decades of experience who has worked with thousands of parents, there’s not a baby problem that she hasn’t encountered and solved. This compassionate book covers the many reasons baby may be crying and is loaded with solid, kind, useful, practical advice to help frazzled parents soothe their precious bundles. Importantly, it also has baby feeding information you can trust. Written with bite-size ideas so that tired parents can read it in five-minute chunks if they choose, Pinky’s empathy for babies and parents can be felt on every page.

If you have read a parenting book or taken a parenting course in the last sixty years, chances are you have been influenced by the wisdom of Haim Ginott, even if you didn’t realize it.

He and his students, including the authors of How to Talk So Children Will Listen, set the groundwork for what is known today as connection parenting, conscious parenting, gentle parenting, playful parenting, and authoritative (but not authoritarian) parenting.

When my mom passed away and I looked through her books, I saw she had a first edition of Between Parent and Child, first published when I was a young boy.

When I read it, I felt a strong flash of recognition about the way she raised me. Ginott gets children, and he gets parents.