The most recommended etiquette books

Who picked these books? Meet our 17 experts.

17 authors created a book list connected to etiquette, and here are their favorite etiquette books.
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Book cover of French or Foe?: Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living and Working in France

Julie Barlow Author Of The Bonjour Effect: The Secret Codes of French Conversation Revealed

From my list on understanding the French.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have been writing books about France and the French for two decades. The adventure began when I moved to Quebec in my early 20s and married a Quebecker. He became my life partner and co-author. I learned his language, immersed myself in Canada’s French-language culture and began writing articles in French. In 1999 we moved to France for three years to study the French. Three books later, we returned to Paris with our daughters to try to demystify French conversation. The result is The Bonjour Effect. I am grateful to the authors on my list for helping me refine my understanding of France, the French and their language. 

Julie's book list on understanding the French

Julie Barlow Why did Julie love this book?

Polly Platt was the first author to write about the frustrating features of French in a way that would help foreigners deal with them. In this classic, first published in 1994, she delves into their intense relationship to food, explains how to handle rudeness in stores, how to deal with the French bureaucracy, how their idea of time can drive foreigners crazy and much more. Platt’s observations were eye-opening for me when I first moved to France and are still relevant 25 years later. 

By Polly Platt,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked French or Foe? as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Designed primarily for people who will be living or working in France for extended periods, offers lessons on French manners, attitudes, and culture.


Book cover of Lester's Dreadful Sweaters

Tatyana Feeney Author Of Little Owl's Orange Scarf

From my list on for those who love yarn and knitting.

Why am I passionate about this?

I have always loved making things with paper, fabric, or through drawing. I was taught needlepoint and crochet by my grandmother when I was young. Unfortunately, I didn’t practice this much and don’t really know how anymore. As I got older, I wanted to learn how to knit and do a bit more than basic sewing by hand. I am still learning, and I love seeing how people create using fabric and yarn. This has crept into books I write and illustrate and also the books I like reading!

Tatyana's book list on for those who love yarn and knitting

Tatyana Feeney Why did Tatyana love this book?

What happens when an unknown and unexpected relative comes to visit? 

Lester is a unique character who is visited by his equally unique Cousin Clara. Cousin Clara seems perfectly fine until Lester discovers how good she is at knitting dreadful sweaters.

After a series of unfortunate events befall the itchy creations, Lester and Clara discover there is a place for everyone (and every dreadful sweater).

I enjoyed the story, which I am sure many can relate to, and the illustrations (also by KG Campbell) are hilarious. A great story about dealing with unwanted gifts!

By K.G. Campbell,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Lester's Dreadful Sweaters as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A fastidious fellow, Lester likes everything just so. So when Cousin Clara moves in and knits him truly dreadful sweaters as fast as he can surreptitiously dispose of them, Lester must think of a way to get rid of them for good — or be doomed to look like a clown forever.


Book cover of Mr. Tiger Goes Wild

Benson Shum Author Of First Night of Howlergarten

From my list on inclusion and being true to yourself.

Why am I passionate about this?

Growing up, I was always the outcast. I wasn't the smartest in class. I wasn't the strongest in sports. I was always the shy kid in the back, trying not to make a noise. But when I made a connection with someone or they made the effort to say hi. I treasured our friendship. I love writing and sharing stories where we are talking about inclusion and building empathy toward each other. I hope you will enjoy these books on the list.

Benson's book list on inclusion and being true to yourself

Benson Shum Why did Benson love this book?

Mr. Tiger wanted to be wild. He didn't like wearing shirts and top hats.

With his bravery, he decided to go wild and run without clothing. The town didn't know what to think, but after seeing Mr. Tiger being so free, they decided to give it a try. And things started to change and the town became more inclusive.

When we are free to be ourselves, others will see that and build empathy and question, how would that make me feel?

By Peter Brown,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Mr. Tiger Goes Wild as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Mr. Tiger lived a perfectly proper life in a perfectly proper city. And everything was perfectly fine...until the day he had a wonderfully wild idea! Why choose to stay in the stuffy city when there is a whole wide world of wilderness and wildness to explore? So Mr. Tiger bounds off on an adventure to discover where he really belongs. From beloved author Peter Brown and using a brand-new art style, Mr. Tiger Goes Wild shows us that there's a time and place for everything. Even going wild.


Book cover of Etiquette & Espionage

Susan Corso Author Of Jezebel Rising

From my list on subversive historical fiction.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’ve been reading historical fiction since childhood—it’s my preferred method for learning history. I want to know who people were in an everyday way, not as broad-brush reporting. My tastes are not limited to particular eras although I do my best to skip as much battle detail as I can. I like historical fiction that has character as its throughline. Who are these people? What do/did they want? How did they get it? I think my theatre background and training are what make me ask questions like these. What did they have for dinner? What did they talk about? Their excesses, their eccentricities, their excellences.

Susan's book list on subversive historical fiction

Susan Corso Why did Susan love this book?

Mademoiselle Geraldine’s Finishing Academy for Young Ladies of Quality. A finishing school? Um, ye-ees. For spies. Spies? Uh-huh. On a dirigible. A—what? In a culture where vampires and werewolves are part of society. Wrapped in a huge steampunk bow. Etiquette and espionage. Curtsies and conspiracies. Waistcoats and weaponry. Manners and mutiny. What could possibly go wrong? (What can’t?) Gail Carriger’s Parasolverse is their entirely diabolically magical setting. Her writing is laugh-out-loud clever, witty as Noel Coward, deeply principled, and there are tons more. I started with the Alexia Tarabotti seven and read every single one. I’d do it again, too. Her heroines make my heart go pitter-pat. With glee.

By Gail Carriger,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Etiquette & Espionage as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 12, 13, 14, and 15.

What is this book about?

It's one thing to learn to curtsy properly. It's quite another to learn to curtsy and throw a knife at the same time. Welcome to finishing school.

Sophronia is a great trial to her poor mother. Sophronia is more interested in dismantling clocks and climbing trees than proper manners-and the family can only hope that company never sees her atrocious curtsy. Mrs. Temminnick is desperate for her daughter to become a proper lady. So she enrolls Sophronia in Mademoiselle Geraldine's Finishing Academy for Young Ladies of Quality.

But Sophronia soon realizes the school is not quite what her mother might…


Book cover of Do Unto Otters: A Book about Manners

Constance Lombardo Author Of Tiny Spoon vs. Little Fork

From my list on hysterically funny picture books.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’ve worked with kids in preschools and elementary schools, (plus I’m a mom!) and to me, nothing is better than hearing kids laugh. I also just adore picture books and treasure my personal library, with its focus on (you guessed it!) humor. Sassy cats, bears who want to have kids for pets, chickens who interrupt, alphabets overrun by frustrated Zebras, picture books bravely go where other books might only tiptoe in a cowardly fashion—into the world of wild imagination and anthropomorphized everything. With amazing artwork!! Let’s be honest, I’ll choose funny picture books over War and Peace every time.

Constance's book list on hysterically funny picture books

Constance Lombardo Why did Constance love this book?

New neighbors have moved into the forest—they’re otters, and this news has thrown rabbit into a tizzy. But Owl volunteers to help by going over some basic manners! With lines like “It simply means treat otters the same way you’d like otters to treat you,” this book is certifiably hysterical. Keller has a way of making every moment a source of humor- with diagrams, speech bubbles, and lively illustrations that have a wonderfully retro feel. Extra points for lots of puns (one of the Otters is reading Harry Otter!) Plus it turns out Otter can say please in five languages! Looks like everything’s gonna be okay. 

By Laurie Keller,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Do Unto Otters as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 4, 5, 6, and 7.

What is this book about?

"Do not do to others that which would anger you if others did it to you."—Socrates (the Greek philosopher), circa 470-399 B.C.

Mr. Rabbit's new neighbors are Otters. OTTERS! But he doesn't know anything about Otters. Will they get along? Will they be friends? Just treat otters the same way you'd like them to treat you, advises wise Mr. Owl. And so begins Mr. Rabbit's reflection on good manners.

In her smart, quirky style Laurie Keller highlights how to be a good friend and neighbor—just follow the Golden Rule! This title has Common Core connections.

A Junior Library Guild Selection…


Book cover of The Autobiography of a Tomboy

Renée Sentilles Author Of American Tomboys, 1850-1915

From my list on tomboys by a historian of tomboys.

Why am I passionate about this?

As a young girl, I thought I was a tomboy—or I wanted to be one, because the image of a “normal” girl was far too pink and frothy and shallow for my tastes. For me, being a tomboy was less about being boy-like than being unable to claim the markers of femininity. As a historian of women and girls, I wondered how young women saw their futures in this modernizing America, with its True Women and New Women and the opening of advanced education. Did tomboys grow into the rebels who changed the world? Or, like the tomboys in so many fictional stories, did they renounce their assertive sense of self upon marriage and motherhood?

Renée's book list on tomboys by a historian of tomboys

Renée Sentilles Why did Renée love this book?

Gilder’s memoir of growing up in the 1860s as a boyish girl will seem remarkably contemporary to those who equate nineteenth-century girls and women with corsets and overly important etiquette. Gilder writes about baseball, pranks, and various attempts to look like a boy, confirming an instinctual tomboy identity even at a time when females could not legally wear pants.

By Jeannette I. Gilder,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Autobiography of a Tomboy as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important, and is part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it. This work was reproduced from the original artifact, and remains as true to the original work as possible. Therefore, you will see the original copyright references, library stamps (as most of these works have been housed in our most important libraries around the world), and other notations in the work.

This work is in the public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and…


Book cover of The Berenstain Bears Forget Their Manners

Mike Amante Author Of The Puppy Who Lost His Woof

From my list on animals that teaches good morals and values.

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m a Filipino illustrator who draws children’s books for both publishers and for private commissions. I also have been reading children’s books as part of my job. My go-to children's stories are often about animals and nature. I hope you'll like the books on this list as much as I do!

Mike's book list on animals that teaches good morals and values

Mike Amante Why did Mike love this book?

This is one of my favorite children’s books until today. It’s wonderfully illustrated and it teaches good manners in a fun way. I like how Brother Bear and Sister Bear pretended to observe good manners in compliance with Mama Bear’s Politeness Plan but as time passed, they eventually ended up practicing good manners out of habit. I also like that the book showed that not even the grown-ups (such as Papa Bear) are exempted from the house rules.

By Stan Berenstain, Jan Berenstain,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Berenstain Bears Forget Their Manners as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 4, 5, 6, and 7.

What is this book about?

This classic Berenstain Bears story is a perfect way to teach children about the importance of good manners!

Come for a visit in Bear Country with this classic First Time Book® from Stan and Jan Berenstain. Mama has noticed that Papa, Brother, and Sister have not been using their good manners, so now it’s up to her to help get back on track. Includes over 50 bonus stickers!


Book cover of The Sour Grape

Mary Angus Author Of Max's Fuzzy Feelers

From my list on illustrations for your highly sensitive little one.

Why am I passionate about this?

I am an illustrator who has been captivated by the whimsy of children’s books since I was a child myself. The wonder and enchantment with the world of narrative illustrative has never worn off and I still love getting lost in a beautiful picture book. I hope my illustrations are able to inspire others the way they have inspired me. 

Mary's book list on illustrations for your highly sensitive little one

Mary Angus Why did Mary love this book?

If you are a parent on the search for children’s books, I’m sure you have already come across Jory John’s and Pete Oswald’s Food Group Series. I can’t help but to include The Sour Grape, the newest edition to the series, in this list. Their entire series has been so well written and illustrated, turning common colloquialisms into clever characters and illustrations. The Sour Grape is a beautiful message on empathy and compassion, and why it is important to see things from other people’s perspectives. If you have a little one that's always holding a grudge or thinks the world is out to get them, then this one is a must-have!

By Jory John, Pete Oswald,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Sour Grape as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it. This book is for kids age 4, 5, 6, and 7.

What is this book about?


The Instant #1 New York Times Bestseller!

Don't miss the sixth picture book in the #1 New York Times bestselling Food Group series that's ripe with humor from Jory John and Pete Oswald!

The Sour Grape holds grudges for every reason under the sun. Lime never returned a scarf they borrowed Grudge! Orange never called back Grudge! But when a friend holds a grudge against the Sour Grape without listening to an explanation, the Sour Grape realizes how unfair grudges can be. Could a bunch of forgiveness and compassion be enough to turn a sour grape sweet

Jory John and…


Book cover of Culture Shock! France: A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette

Janet Hulstrand Author Of Demystifying the French: How to Love Them, and Make Them Love You

From my list on understanding and appreciating the French.

Why am I passionate about this?

I became fascinated with France and the French as a child, and over the past 40 years I have spent as much time as I can here. I’ve been fortunate to be able to combine my dual passions—for France and for literature—in creating a series of classes for CUNY study abroad programs and for the Politics & Prose bookstore. Through this work, over the past 20+ years I have spent much of my time reading and teaching works of literature that explore France and the French people in depth. I now live in France, and I continue to find the French endlessly fascinating. I think I always will. 

Janet's book list on understanding and appreciating the French

Janet Hulstrand Why did Janet love this book?

This is one of the best books I know for covering a huge amount of material in a compact, reader-friendly, yet very thorough form. The author provides insightful perspective on French history, psychology, culture, cuisine, language, and habits, and offers particularly helpful advice about how to recover from the inevitable moments of cultural awkwardness. Although some of the practical information is outdated, the general insights into and analysis of French people and their culture will never go out of date. I think it’s well worth reading for anyone who has an interest in France and the French that goes beyond the surface; anyone who has a genuine interest in understanding this fascinating people and culture. 

By Sally Adamson Taylor,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Culture Shock! France as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

CultureShock! France peels away the layers of the French and their country to reveal the heart of the Gallic temperament. The book navigates through essential topics such as learning the French language, how best to work with the French, observing their body language and even how to choose wine in a restaurant. Glean practical advice on finding a home, getting the utilities running and putting the children into school. Find out more about the French, a complex people who maintain a cool composure on the outside yet are inwardly passionate about art, romance, cuisine and wine. Discover how easily the…


Book cover of Social Skills for Kids: From Making Friends and Problem-Solving to Self-Control and Communication

Joni Hilton Author Of Family Funbook

From my list on family activity books.

Why am I passionate about this?

I love playing with my kids. When my eldest was eight and we were sitting on the porch together he said, “On my last day of being playful, I want to play with you the whole day. I sure hope it’s on a Saturday.” My kids know that I turn most things into a game, that I’ll screech and stop for a tarantula on the road because it’s educational, that I'll get them to sing their quiz answers, and that I’ll sculpt a cake into almost anything for a school project. I believe learning should be fun, so we would drink lemonade out of measuring cups, guess how many hops from the bed to the closet, and have Whipped Cream Spray Wars every summer (outside, thank you). I also think families would spend more time together if they had a great collection of cool—and easy—stuff to do together. As a writer I’m creative, and never run out of fun ideas. Why not share them with the world?

Joni's book list on family activity books

Joni Hilton Why did Joni love this book?

Even tiny kids get glued to their game screens, without being connected to the internet yet. And older kids are even more addicted. We've all heard how dependent kids are on "likes" and how depressed they get if their life doesn't compare with what they see online. This means we have an entire generation of kids who spend waaay too much time on the computer. They haven't developed as many social skills as they're going to need. And this book addresses it. Children will feel more confident at school and in any social setting. I'd love to see manners and etiquette lessons come back-- here's a start!

By Keri K. Powers,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Social Skills for Kids as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Help your children develop essential social skills-including groups, one-on-one interactions, and virtual communication-with these 150 easy, fun activities to teach your kids how to socially succeed.

From taking turns to making eye contact to staying engaged during conversations, developing appropriate social skills is an important factor for kids to be able to succeed in school and life in general. But how can you tell if your child is really making progress while you read the same stories, have the same conversations, and chaperone the same playdates? The answer is to add some variety to your child's daily activities with these…